Captian Horatio Daisy Gustavus MacNiel Monaco (captain_monaco) wrote,
Captian Horatio Daisy Gustavus MacNiel Monaco

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A fight!


I forgot something. All of my crew live on the Gilded Sham (the rent is quite
nice--free! I own the damnable pile of sea-rot!). Naturally, this leads to some
interesting exchanges between crew-persons.

Arumentus Constantine, who is of Latin descent and reeks of garlic, that horrid
poison herb, was speaking loftily about the benefits of regular colonic
hydrotherapy, something of which I have, thankfully, scant knowledge.

He has talking to one of my Minor Sailors, Peg. Peg is man of dubious history, mainly because he has a peg head, two glass eyes, a hook hand, and two peg legs.
Peg is a quiet man, who usually keeps to himself, but he is handy aboard a ship.
At least, that's the impression I get.

So, Argumentus and Peg were talking about colonic hydrotherapy, which is
something, I have already mentioned, I have almost no knowledge of. I believe the argument was about the type of equipment used in such an intimate endeavor as
this, but I am not certain.

What I am certain of is the result: fisticuffsmanship! Aboard my sweet vessel!
Utterly unheard of! Except that once, when that other guy was drunk and his
what's-his-face! That was excusable; there were extenuating circumstances!

But this!

I watched for a while, slightly amused. In the tumult, the two brave fighters
managed to upturn my mug of sailor's grog, at which point the foolishness had
to end.

Since, Peg had that claw of a hand, and Argumentus was slightly larger than I,
I summoned Guy Francophone to aid me. With a great deal of gesticulating, I got
the point of what I wanted to do across to him.

Then, he ran away.

He came back, with some sort of apparatus in his hand. He aimed it at the
fighting pair and pulled the trigger with no obvious results. But, the gun
was doing something, for the combatants'' blows became weaker and weaker still
until they had simply fatigued.

Later, after an exceedingly long "conversation" with Francophone, I discovered
he was using a Positive Ion Ray Gun on Peg and Arguemntus. I was amazed. This
physicist will be an invaluable asset to my crew.
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I'm fascinated by your crew. They all sound sprightly and have a lot of verve.

But why haven't you set sail? Are you waiting for some omen?
Why haven't I set sail?


I am waiting for my vessel to be repaired. I am waiting for another rum and grog smoothie. I am waiting for spring. I am waiting for more crew members. And I want to get laid one last time bnefore I set sail with a large group of sweaty men.
Ha! I know the truth You are waiting for some capitalist corporate sponsorship!
Listen you pinko bastard:

I don't have time for your stupid, inane, foolish political hogwash! I have much betterthings to do, like help Magellan Smythe brew a cure for the hangover we both have sustained.

Where is my particle phycisist whose name I can never spell in quite the correct manner? I want symmetry broken, and how!
Hog-washing is not a matter to be taken lightly. One must make certain to use a properly fitting gambrel and a clean hog scraper. Politics must never intervene with hog-washing!!!
Adventure is my middle name. Robert Adventure Downey Junior. Bet you didn't know that.

Spice Islands? Sign me up. They got some killer hash. I can probably leave the country in another 5-6 years if probation goes well.
Still haven't set sail, eh?